SUN QUAN:The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
by super sailor vegeta-sei
Summary: You might not expect much from this unit, but you will be surprised on what he can do. This brand new Dynasty Warriors unit completes the Warlords collection.


I still have that LU XUN guide half baked if anybody wants to co-write it with me. Go on my profile and vote for which guide you want to see next. I'm thinking along the lines of XIAHOU DUN, ZHUGE LIANG, or somebody from Wei or Shu, but not Wu this time. I did SUN QUAN because he was just a part of a Dynasty Warriors collection. This guide only took me a while just to write. I'm so proud of myself.

**Congratulations**

You are now the proud owner of SUN QUAN, one of the three warlords which will complete your collection of Dynasty Warriors Warlords collection. We are happy that you did business with our company that has been making units for many years and is the leading producer (seriously more like the monopoly of Dynasty Warriors units, amrite). To ensure that your red headed, green eyed, inheritor of Wu, foreigner lives a happy, productive life, trying to get back the Jing Providence back from his deadbeat brother-in-law, boring, peaceful life.

**Technical Specifications**

Name: Family-Sun, Given-Quan (it sounds like _Chuan _or _Chen_. (A/N: Koei messed up another Chinese name again more like 50% of the characters names are not pronounced correctly. Watch the drama. On gamefaqs for Dynasty Warriors 3, they have a guide that talks about this subject. Just please check it out.)

Style Name: Zhongmou

Allies: SUN CE's brother little, SUN SHANG XIANG's older brother, SUN JIAN's son, LADY WU's son, GAN NING's boss, LU XUN's uncle-in-law, Roman Boy, blue eyed boy, foreign trash, foreign moron, Irish before Irish had a name, Duke in Distress, ZHOU TAI's busy work, the middle child, Emperor Da of Dongwu, Duke of Wu, and Lord of Nanchang.

Real name: Quanlius Sunicus

Posthumous name: Dongwudadi (not very creative, are they? The southern heat must fried their brains to make them give him this name, or maybe that hated him.)

Temple: Despite having a longer reign than CAO CAO and LIU BEI combined, nobody even cared to make him a temple. Please give SUN QUAN some love and make him a temple in the city of Nanjing. On the other hand, the founding emperor of the Ming Dynasty, ZHU YUANZHANG, burrial place is right besides SUN QUAN's burial place.

Type: Long Lived Emperor and Founder of the Kingdom of Wu

Malefactor: Koei Omega Force, Dynasty Warriors Edition, Kingdom of Wu, Rulers of Wu Volumn #3, Emperor of Wu volume #1, Three Kingdoms Warlords third installment, Successful Roman Assassins Who Become Emperors of China special edition

Date of Manufacture: Circa 182 A.D.

Default age: Twenty-four (24)

Place of Manufacture: The real SUN QUAN-Funchen County (present day Fuyang, Zhejiang Province. The foreign SUN QUAN-somewhere in the Roman Empire

Appearance: Red hair and jade green eyes. He has a square jaw, which is unusual for anybody from China. This is for real it even said it in the history and novel; however, in the games he has brown hair. Even painters painted him with brownish blackish hair because he gets angry when people call him foreigner or Roman or even bring up his _real _ancestry, so beware.

Height: Five feet and ten inches (5'10")

Weight: The robes make him look fat

Length: Average to above average when fully.... Well, after reading six (6) going on seven (7) Dynasty Warrior guides, I hope you get the picture *wink*.

**Accessories**

One (1) Silly looking Chinese emperor headdress minus the jade beads

One (1) Red breast plate with golden dragons

One (1) Red brocade battle gown embroidered with golden thread

One (1) Tiger skin robe that makes CHAI JIN blush in shame because he cannot wressle with tigers only hunts them (dumb and weak petty Song Dynasty marsh outlaw /nobleman)

One (1) Shaving kit

One (1) Black hair dye kit just in case

One (1) Leather belt with gold studs

One (1) Pair of hot red silk pants

One (1) Vest

One (1) Pair of leather boot

One (1) Red silk hair turban to wrap around his topknot (he's doing it wrong if he wants to hid his ethnicity)

One (1) Golden necklace (this guy so has a gold fetish)

One (1) Black girdle to suck in his ginormous wine gut

Two (2) Swords

**Additional Accessories (sold separately)**

One (1) Suit of hot golden battle armor (A/N: According to the Aztecs, gold was god doo doo. This is why ZHOU TAI needs to save him all the time because he cannot fight.)

One (1) Dumb looking matching helmet

One (1) ZHOU TAI unit

**Installation**

Again just do absolutely nothing, and your SUN QUAN unit comes alive.

**Uses**

Are you serious looking at this area of this guide? Your SUN QUAN unit remains famous for doing nothing and being a duke in distress. Actually, he has a few uses.

1. Embassador to Ancient Rome- The year 2009, according to urban legends, a time machine will finally be invented. Since no Romans actually exist in the present day(the ones from the Empire not the city dumba$$), the world need an ambassador to settle affairs with the Roman people, but not just some PH.D professor in Latin and Roman studies at Havard because what they know isn't the Latin that the Romans spoke; it is the Latin after the Roman Empire cessed to exist (I'm having an intricate sentance attack). We need him to talk to his people, but not the Chinese even though all he ever talks about is the SUN family.

2. Toga party host- Despite his no nonsense and serious personality, your SUN QUAN unit has the biggest inner frat boy of all of the Dynasty Warriors collection riveling GAN NING and ZHANG FEI. His deepest darknest secret is that he loves to party like it's 1999. He will normally lie to people telling them he has a weakness for alcohol, whih means he is a party animal. Seriously, just cut off the topnot and instant Roman. You probably won't get invited to the party anyways since you are a poor college student living in the college basement, and plus nobody likes you anyways, freak. Nobody will come anyways just your three (3) nerdy friends from anime club. Since SUN QUAN has one of the lowest popularities of the Dynasty Warriors eddition (we just make him for the warlords collection) next to XIAHOU YUAN, WEI YAN, LU MENG, and DONG ZHOU For the party, you need white bedsheets and rivers of never ending red wine not that c#*ppy clear Chinese wine.

3. T-Shirt Model- Do you wounder who that hot handsome man in black surrounded in a red backround might be? It is the uberly famous Enersto "Che" Guevara. This guy actually did something unlike SUN QUAN and has his face everywhere including in Spanish classrooms and on t-shirts. SUN QUAN can be just as famous as Che Guevara. First, take his picture in one of his awesome outfits. Then, uploaded to a computer and photoshop it making his picture black. Put it on a blood red backround. Buy really cheap red t-shirts wholesale lots. Put the print on. Then, sell on ebay for big bucks. For this to work, please put it under Chinese Che Guevara. After you rack in the profits, then sell your item to Hot Topic. Congradulations! You are now rich!

4. Tiger wressler- This actually superised you, didn't it? He has so much in common with ABRAHAM LINCOLN, but tigers did not roam America ever.

**Modes**

Serious (default)

Phony/fake

Frat boy

Collected

Roman (locked)

**Cleaning**

Daily cleaning of your SUN QUAN unit is a must.

**Lubrication**

Since your SUN QUAN unit is not Asian, you might need it especially if you are inexperienced when it comes to matters underneath the sheets.

**Energy**

Whatever you do, please do not feed your SUN QUAN unit any peassant food, for he grew up rich and needs to be feed noblemen food.

**Interactions**

Keep your SUN QUAN unit away from LIU BEI, CAO CAO, and GUAN YU.

**Warnings**

Your SUN QUAN unit is a man who cannot fight all that well; he needs a ZHOU TAI unit with him at all times on the battle field. Since your SUN QUAN is a party animal make sure that he does not comsume a leathal amount of alcohol. Your SUN QUAN unit is mortal enemies with the other warlords, and if you plan on owning the complete Dynasty Warriors Warlord Collection that you keep your SUN QUAN in his crate.

**FAQ**

Question: Hey!! I thought SUN QUAN was Chinese.

Answer: Watch the drama. If you notice at the death of SUN CE, the eighteen (18) year old SUN QUAN has brown eyes and black hair with different facial features. Then, fast forward to the Prelude to the Battle of Chi Bi. You will notice that this new SUN QUAN has a very thick red beard, red hair, and green eyes. A/N: The Han Chinese people grow facial hair slower than cauasians. Also please note his eye shape, for they are too wide to be Asian. His skin color is too yellow to be Asian too, for he used his mother's make up.

Question: You said that to keep away the SUN QUAN unit away from LIU BEI and CAO CAO, but how am I suppose to complete my Dynasty Warriors Warlords collection?

Answer: Simple as pie just keep them all in their oringinal crates just like Star Trek fans with their plastic boy dolls.

Question: My SUN QUAN unit disobeyed me and slaughter GUAN YU. Now, he rides the RED HARE and has been acting strangely. Help!

Answer: First off just rebot his system, then return the RED HARE unit to its rightful owner. Please look at the first problem in troubleshotting to help you if he continues to act strangely.

Question: My SUN QUAN unit does absolutely nothing ever. Is this normal?

Answer: SUN QUAN is famous for doing absolutely nothing, but if he does nothing all the time there is a major problem with his system. Just reboot him. If he continues to do absolutely nothing after reboting him, please send him back.

Question: My ZHOU TAI and SUN QUAN units sleep together...not in the brotherly way, but the other way.

Answer: This is a common problem to have them together in that sense. Just put chastity belts on them; the same goes for CAO CAO if he is with all of these women and not you.

Question: In battle my SUN QUAN likes to duel enemy generals. What should I do?

Answer: Your SUN QUAN unit is illsuited for the life of a millitary man or is he? Our company thinks that he just acts like a wimp because the Chinese SUN QUAN did. What he is really suited for his life as a civial official, or is he?

**Troubleshooting**

Problem: Your SUN QUAN unit after he beheads GUAN YU wears his head around his neck instead of shipping it to WEI to kill off seventy-five percent (75%) of the generals. For some odd reason, he acts strange and calls himself a green eyed scamp, red haired rodent, and foreign moron.

Solution: First of all, the GUAN YU guide said about staying the H-E double hockey sticks away from SUN QUAN because of distaster would strike. Instead of LU MENG, GUAN YU's spirit possessed your SUN QUAN unit. Now get a Catholic priest, Taoist priest, a sharman, and Buddist abbot skilled in exorisms.

Problem: Your SUN QUAN unit would not stop partying.

Solution: Since most states in America card people who look under fourty (40) to buy alcohol in this case wine, just take away SUN QUAN's ID. Make sure this his older brother SUN CE isn't arround to make a fake one for him.

Problem: GUAN YU wants to marry one of his daughters to one of SUN QUAN's sons.

Solution: First of all this is a major problem! Go to the owner of the GUAN YU unit and tell them that he do not want any marriages because Chinese arranged marriages can get dirty. If the harrassment of your SUN QUAN unit continues, go to your friendly neighborhood prefect or mastristrate to get a restraining order. I'm pretty sure only the New England area has prefects and mastristrates.

Problem: You over hear your SUN QUAN unit talk to a group to assinanate SUN CE.

Solution: This is a very hard problem to deal with because you might change history like BARACK OBAMA, but for better or for worst like marriage.

Problem: Your SUN QUAN unit brought back SUN SHANG XIANG from LIU BEI. Now, LIU BEI has come to take her back.

Solution: Does your SUN QUAN really want his sister to stay, or does LIU BEI really want his wife back. After all the Battle of Yi Ling was caused because LIU BEI wanted revenge on his brothers' deaths and his wife back. Wu wins the Battle of Yi Ling anyways, and LIU BEI dies a few years after that. That's the point of giving her back. In the end it's your choice what you do.

**Warranty**

Since your SUN QUAN unit is the second, er third longest lived of the Dynasty Warriors series, we will offer a lifetime warranty because he is not suppose to be faulty under any circumstance. Your warranty will be null and void if your SUN QUAN unit died in battle because your ZHOU TAI unit is his personal bodyguard, and he died from alcohol poisoning.

**Notes**

With proper care and mantenance, according to this manual, your SUN QUAN unit will live a fullfilling, happy, productive, sucessful, and long life.

**Contact information**

Questions, comments, or concerns please click on "submit review" which is green on the botton of the page. Your question will be answered in a twenty-four (24) hour time period. For really private questions, please PM the maker of this guide, and they will respond within a twenty-four (24) hour period.


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